The advice column from Hades.

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Hi there, I’m Abigail Imogen Drake, your Fairy Transmother. This week’s question comes from Louise, another writer here on Medium.

Hey, Mrs. Capricious, I am a trans woman that still loves men. I much prefer them and I am on HRT right now. Any advice for me?

OK. That’s quite a broad question, Louise. I’d love to talk more in depth about love and sex when you’re transgender. But for now, let’s concentrate on you and I’ll return to the wider issues at a later date.

First things first, Louise… give yourself permission to be OK with your sexuality. You’ve…

Introducing the advice column from Hades

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Hi there. My name is Abigail Imogen Drake. And this is Sex AID. See what I did there?

This is going to be a regular column here on Sexpressions, the publication for the clever bad folks. I aim to answer questions or debate topics relating to all aspects of sex and relationships, treading a fine line between humour and sincerity.

It’s Dear Abbie for fuckers who find sex both interesting and hilarious.

‘All well and good, Abbie. But what the hell do you know, and why should we trust you?’

Ok, firstly go with Reagan, Satan never rest his soul…

Still queer, but near to home

Photo by T. Q. on Unsplash

Okay, so with Part Three a brief recap…

In Part One I talked about how I kinda, maybe, technically, then emphatically lost my ‘straight’ cherry. Oh wait, I should clarify… Straight me being a ‘dude’ fucking a girl cherry (that distinction will become more apparent later…)

In Part Two I recounted how, still a ‘dude’ (fucking ugh. So not ME) I got it on with more than one guy. So, I guess kinda ‘bi’??

But let’s not forget… Despite us having caught up to me at roughly 37 when I was fucked roughly by the guy with the club cock…

of many…

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Audio Version:

Trust me and I'll trust you.
Such trust will never rust
Nor corrode despite the roads
We traverse together,
As we should,
As we must.

But let it never be pushed
Lest the rush yell HUSH
To our nascent fears
And clamour a stop to
Such imperative lust.
Hope for boom not bust.

Ours, this,
To make or mend.
To bend, upend
Or otherwise send
What we have
For heaven to tend.

All love's nature,
By whatever nomenclature,
Is ours to claim
If we askew past mistakes blame
And seek to tame
The wildness. …

Bonfire of the Virginities

Photo by Francesco Cantinelli on Unsplash

In Cherries — Part One I recalled how I’d kinda lost my virginity. Hey, it’s complex, okay?!

The coda to that piece is that my subsequent times with the woman who became my second wife were absolutely unequivocal. If I’d had any reservations, any excuses or rationalisations left they dissipated in the face of the onrush of crazy sex she and I enjoyed. No technicalities, no ‘kindas’, no ‘wait was that…’.

So how come there’s a Part Two?

Well, finally getting it on ‘properly’ with a woman was not the end of my cherry-popping experiences. The inverted commas there are…

Losing my virginities

Photo by T. Q. on Unsplash

Following Teresa’s lead I thought I’d make my first piece for Sexpressions about losing my virginity. But I immediately hit a snag.

Which time do I talk about?

It should be a straightforward question, right? First time I had sex, write, done. But as I thought about it I found myself using words like ‘technically’ and ‘I guess’ a lot. Because it’s just not that clear cut.

Why? Well, my sex life got off to a late start, and it remained rocky for way too long. …

Death to the gods of the arbitrary

Photo by Moritz Kindler on Unsplash

Audio version:

The numbers have weight,
Represented in the roll of the dice.
And I in the their grasp,
Am simply freight,
Shedding my past.
Always willing to pay the price.

They call me Hurricane,
Though my name be Gail.
And I can’t retain
The wind in my sails,
As life’s vagaries contend
To upend and send
Me spiralling to extremes.
Then becalmed but seldom calm.

I’m Chance’s bitch,
And she is mine.
By turns we switch,
Ruling the other’s time.
I ride her, she rides me.
No reason, no rhyme.
Destination? We’ll see.

Sweet darling Caprice, Whose name I…

Mrs. Capricious

Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Witch. Poet. Slut. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.

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