Hi Eddy

An older trans sister here.

I wanted to take up your point about expressing vulnerability as a trans or, in my case, ‘cis’. The simple fact is that because of the way we raise our boys they lacked emotional vocabulary. Everything gets parsed as anger. Frustration =anger, grief=anger, pain= etc. Even positive emotions like excitement often get expressed in terms that border into violence.

Expressing vulnerability, so infrequently shown by too men, seems to actually scare others. Other men fear that it makes them look bad, or that their own walls might collapse. Women wonder what this says about a man. Their father, their brother, their lover. And because it’s so unfamiliar it provokes fear and often anger.

Of course what it actually says about that man is that, like every other human, he’s simple capable of emotion. It saddens me so much, as a trans woman, to see so many mem locked in tiny monoemotional prisons. No wonder men kill themselves 3 times as often as us women.

Never fear afraid to express the full range of emotion. It’s monolithic masculinity that needs to be like you. Not the other way round.

Much love, many hugs


Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Witch. Poet. Slut. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.