Hi there.

Surprise, having lived almost half a century as a ‘man’ I have some perspective on men’s view of their own bodies. And I agree with you. To a degree.

But see that’s the thing… Having now lived a fair time as the woman I always was I can tell you want you’re talking about absolutely PALES compared to the policing of women’s appearances. I noticed absolutely immediately that I was judged several orders of magnitude more often and more harshly when I started presenting as female. And I found myself fretting from some ridiculous internalised misogyny, that just about every woman, cis or trans, feels.

Men. Just. Don’t.

I know you’d love to argue the point. But seriously… Look around you at other men. See the ‘uniform’. The dress code for men amounts to ‘that’ll do’. If it doesn’t stink you’re good to go. Men simply aren’t judged and policed in the same fashion. Trust someone who’s been both. There’s zero comparison.

And then on to your point about bedroom complaints. Oh boy… I feel like I should let my wife field this bit. How about quit whining about pressure? Lighten up on yourself. Don’t be so goal-orientated. You’ll instantly be a better lover and the pressure will be off.

Seriously though no man ever lost a job cos he was a lousy fuck but a womens choice of attire… Still wanna talk about ‘pressure’?

How about the pressure of being assumed to be the primary caregiver in the Year of our Lord 2020?

How about being expected to do the same work for less money?

How about the crushing minute by minute pressure of wondering if, in any given situation, a man is going to belittle, abridge, or assault you?

No. Not all man. Of course. But too. Damn. Many. Too. Damn. Often.

I could oh so easily give you a pass and lament with you about the pressures of being a man because they are huge but your dismissal of the pressures of being a woman, of which you have zero experience, destroyed any empathy or sympathy I might have indulged.

Yeah I’m sorry to say you displayed your privilege in the wrong place.

Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Poet. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.

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