Hi there, thanks for the article.

As a middle-aged trans woman I have an uncommon perspective on things like this. And I have to say, having seen both sides of the stereotypical binary gender divide, too many men are exactly as you describe.

It’s insidious because it’s taught and shown and demonstrated to boys from infancy. I remember my mother angrily correcting me when, as a young ‘boy’ I tried to get out of helping with the dishes on the basis that when I grew up I’d have a wife to do them. Absolutely horrible. Of course I don’t feel that way now (indeed I’ve been my wife’s full time carer for 15 years!) and, honestly, I was too young and dumb to really know better at the time. That the words came so easily shows how endemic these attitudes are.

Even more lamentably I have no clue as to a potential solution. I, myself, was not like that when I was trying to be a ‘man’. But that doesn’t help because I can only ever conclude that I wasn’t like other men because I never was a man.

It is staggering that in the 21st century, as a race, we have not taken a conscious, deliberate decision to do better. That we show no willingness to even attempt to transcend our basest attitudes.

I can only offer hugs of solidarity and suggest that we soldier on and show men we’re worth more but wearing them down with our dignity and our strength. Men have always underestimated us women. It’s time for that to change.

Here’s hoping…

Much love, many hugs,


Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Poet. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.

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