Hi Wanda,

This particular comment thread isn’t necessarily the best place to answer you but hey, here goes.

No… My own journey does not mirror your former colleague’s.

In a nutshell, at the age of 48, 20 years into my second marriage I came out as a transgender lesbian. So both trans and gay. I had a brief period of wondering if I should be attracted to men. No, I never was. I’ve never suffered the confusion of you colleague in regard to my sexuality. Mine has always been strictly gynephilic. I was always all about the ladies. More so, in fact since transitioning.

So no, my journey is not at all similar. Every trans person’s journey is their own. As the saying goes ‘If you’ve met one trans person, you’ve met one trans person’.

I will say it’s common for trans folk to question, to reexamine their sexuality as they transition. Indeed, we find that all our past history may have been a sham to project to the world what they was to see. In my case a ‘man’. This means we can’t be certain what parts of our lives are truly our own and what are parts of our attempt to play a role.

Your colleague may have gone through more confusion than the average trans person but, while it wasn’t like my journey, her confusion is valid.

And please… Do use female pronouns for your colleague once she started presenting as a woman. That’s simple respect. I doubt you’d appreciate being called ‘he’.

She is not ‘batshit crazy’. Confusion is not ‘batshit crazy’. I won’t dignify that idiocy further.

Although I do wonder what insight your cisgender male co-workers might provide into the psyche of a trans woman…

Your own opinion is worth the same as any of those men you consulted.

If you’d like to know more about my personal journey feel free to ask. But maybe somewhere else…

Much love, many hugs,


Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Poet. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store