Hoo Boy, Emma. Huge fella in that sentiment. Though for me it’s with my wife.
Our situation is complex. We’re divorcing, solely because as an American, 8 years my senior, ages close to your age and demographic, she does NOT want to be married to a woman. However, we do still love one another. AND, she has multiple disabilities and I’ve been her full time carer for over 15 years now.
So… Post divorce, we’re still gonna live together. I’m still be her carer. We’ll still be closer than the best of friends.
But ofc you can imagine my fear that as my transition progresses (I’m only 6 weeks into HRT) she’ll increasingly only see the woman who murdered her husband.
I’ve always counseled others, trans and other gender variant folx, that we have a right to tell those close to us. But then those people have a right to what they do with that information.
And all we can do, having thrown a live hand grenade into some of our most precious relationships is trust that those most dear to us will remain true to the love they’ve borne us up til now.