I was moving to my core by this piece, Jim.
I've seen (and suffered for) the length of time it took for my now ex-wife to access care for her disabilities after we'd split up (I was still caring for her over a year after our divorce - not ideal for a gay trans woman in a new relationship!). And she's a straight, cis woman.
My girlfriend is 10 years my junior and I have some health concerns that dog me and cause me a lot of anxiety that she might end up having to care for me. I know what that can do to relationships, as well as one's pride (and Pride).
What angers me is that LGBTQ elders aren't looking for special treatment. We'd like an end to 'special treatment' is more like it.