I'd suggest you have trouble with the reconciliation because there isn't one to be had. Feminism has always fought against biological determinism but now it's being used by people with a prejudice to exclude us trans women.
Our lives experience, however, shows that not only do we not retain our male privilege and suffer much (if not all) of the oppression cis women are subjected to, but we are routinely heaped with additional vitriol etc.
In all the ways that matter we're women. But some people will never accept that. They'd rather corrupt feminism into an exclusionary, and self-defeating, heresy. And all that serves is to distract from Patriarchy still doing its thing.