I’m, erm, just curious what words you’d have to offer me Mz. Jeni on hearing that I was sexually assaulted. By a cis woman who learned I was trans.

A shrug maybe? A hatefully ill-willed ‘welcome to womanhood’? The misogyny I face as a trans woman is as real as that you face. ‘But’, I hear you cry, ‘you’re late to game. Try being a female from the cradle then get back to me.’ As if I’ve not heard that. To which I can only retort that I’d have loved to, but for an accident of birth. Imagine for a moment the parallel pain of being the only girl in an all boys school. Or of having to maintain a facade of alien masculinity for fear of your entire world crashing down around you. Which it did, incidentally, when my true nature would be silenced not a second longer.

Do I believe that women should have single sex spaces? Of course. It’s right there in the Equality Act 2010 and not even a GRC would grant me access should those running a single sex space deem it necessary. But let’s be clear what we’re talking about. The (temporary, I assure you) annexation of GRA reform does not protect those spaces. Nor would reform have endangered them. Self-ID would PURELY have allowed men and women such as myself to change our birth certificates and legal status. Not. A. Damned. Thing. More. The EA 2010 would have remained unabridged, its language crystal clear. GRA reform and Self-ID would entail no more ‘men in frocks’ invading women’s single sex spaces than has happened for decades. How do I know? Well guess where I pee? On what basis? Self-ID. How else would you police it? A burly security guard to check what’s in our panties on the way in?

What I can way more easily conceive of and point to than a crime wave perpetrated by men in dresses self-identifying as women is that men have NEVER needed to dress as one of us to assault us. It happens anywhere, anytime, in any imaginable circumstances. And they’re not bothering to dress for the occasion.

And that’s before we even touch on how laughable the accusation is when levelled at any trans woman who even starts medical transition. Would you care to know how soon after starting hormones I was functionally incapable of the legal definition of rape?

Plus of course I haven’t touched on how much more violent an assault can potentially become if a man decides to rape me and somehow finds I’m not what he anticipated.

We’re not the target, we’re targets, just like you. Can we focus on the far greater evil? Male violence in general.

Seriously, a little solidarity? Do you honestly believe we retain any shred of male privilege when we transition? Nope. Not at all. We assume all the baggage that comes from navigating this world as a woman. And we do it with many fellow women spitting on us almost as much as, if not more than, the men. How is this feminism? How hard do you have to hate men to have it in for the few who never were and rejected every aspect the moment we realised who we were. I’ve yet to meet a trans woman who wasn’t a staunch feminist. And with good reason. We lived with the enemy closer than any cis woman.

Please. Please consider. Divide and conquer is on the first page of their playbook. And it was one of the first things that feminism divested itself of. I know you know this.

Much love, many hugs

Abbie

Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Poet. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.

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