I’m struck by the thoughtful tone of your piece and the comments here, Cassie. To our critics we’re nothing more than pervert men - one wonders if they have a single clue about the effects of female hormones on an ostensibly ‘male’ anatomy.

Speaking for myself, I had erectile dysfunction for 2 years prior to medical transition. I was in no rush to correct said dysfunction. These days… Yes, it’s shrunk and my indifference continues unabated.

My wife misses the old functionality of my genitals. My girlfriend has never wanted anything to do with it.

Giving my own misgivings surgery is simply a waiting list away. My wife has observed that once my mind is set on a thing it become inevitable. I’d hate to prove that inflexible but on this at least she’s surely right.

Much love, many hugs,


Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Witch. Poet. Slut. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.