Thanks so much for the substantive reply, Jas. I took love engaging with my audience and with those fellow writers whose work I enjoy.
Thanks too for the clarification. That helps. I will admit to taking the time to examine my sexuality when I started transition
But while I’m happy to believe that somewhere in 7 billion there’s a man or two who could rock my world, I’m not looking especially hard. I’ve known I was lesbian since my sexual awakening, which was confusing for a male-bodied teen in an all boys school. Lol
My wife of 23 years is ‘painfully straight’ (her words) so that’s a strain. So much so I’ve dated lesbians outside the marriage. My wife and I gave long history and I’m her full time carer so I defy anyone to judge the pragmatism with which we navigate our relationship.
I know for a fact that you’re far from alone. I know plenty of post-transition trans folks whose sexuality kinda flipped. If you know what I mean. Their orientation didn’t but that meant who they were attracted to changed. Whereas i spent 48 years as a ‘straight man’ now I find I was very wrong on both counts. Interestingly however the way I make love to women has changed radically and not just because of some of the more obvious physical limitations of having been on estrogen for a prolonged period.
I do find it interesting though that you expressed no attraction to men previously. It seems easy to explain some women such as yourself giving yourself ‘permission’ to love men post-transition. Especially given the stigma that can still dog homosexuality. But to find that attraction almost from scratch is interesting as it is lovely. Gotta love how complex we are.
I am sorry to hear about your lady friend however. Its never easy facing up to the truth of the matter after the reassurances we gave when we ourselves were convinced. I too told my wife I had no plans to transition. I was at least open enough to say I couldn’t rule it out at some point. But that day came far sooner than I’d anticipated.
Anyway, it’s nice to meet you, sister.
Much love, many hugs.