The comments that aren't said, but hang in the air whenever you're with that person, almost tangible, are often the most painful. They're certainly the most insidious.

When I came out as a gay trans woman it was my sister I contacted first. Not because we get on, quite the contrary, but because she was the only way I could get my parents phone number. I'd not spoken to any of my family for 13 years at that point. I'm estranged from them all again, which frankly is their loss. The difference between my parents and my sister is that the latter was far more sly. She never insulted me. She never deadnamed me. She ever misgendered me. What she did do however was AVOID naming me. She avoided gendering me at all. It was conspicuous because her texts became tortured in their sentence construction as she tried strenuously to avoid using my new (legal) name or my altered pronouns. She similarly worked hard to avoid referring to me as her sister. She was planning to marry in the near future and while she managed to ask for my help looking at dresses she also managed to avoid confirming what role I would play, if any, in the ceremony I would play. She certainly didn't suggest shopping for bridesmaid dresses.

Suffice to say I no longer have contact with my sister either. She and I never got along and that was before I was skinnier and prettier than her even though I'm nearly 4 years older. Lol

My response (ideally that is. I'm not so saintly as to always refrain from more assertive' ripostes. Lol) to such passive aggression is simply to live well. That, and acting with love and respect in mind are the best weapons in our arsenal, IMO.