The problem comes, Neville, in the ways in which far too many men express their insecurity.

I've helped through PTSD episodes that were afraid to discuss with their wife. Others who've been in jobs that were killing them, but were again, too afraid to tell their wife. etc etc. Their behaviour was becoming boderline destructive in the frustration, insecurity, and impotence.

Being insecure, despairing, sad, afraid, etc. These are not 'bad' emotions. They serve a purpose.

But having lived as both a 'man' and a woman I can see plainly how we raise boys to restrict themselves to emotional expressions - mild happiness, and rage.

It's not that you guys don't have the feelings, but that you don't have the range of expression women have.

And I'm sorry, while I take your point that women make more room for insecurity in one another, we're not solely responsible for changing tht status quo in how you men express yourselves. Make the room for one another. I creaated those spaces back when I was still presenting as 'male'. So that men would find fraternity that felt safe. It can be done.

And in those spaces I saw less of the toxic masculinity prevalent in spaces where men don't have a framework to be open with one another.

It needn't have been down to me, a woman, to create those spaces.

You can too.

Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Poet. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.

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