The situation is truly too complex to do justice here. But yes ofc. On a full recognition of our differing sexual orientations I suggested I find a gay girlfriend.

My wife’s jealousy, which at this point seems to amount to ‘I don’t want you but she’s not having you either’, became overweeningly problematic.

We’re now divorcing. So both my efforts inside the marriage and my ‘cheating’ are deeply moot.

If I may… your lamentation is based on a flawed notion that ALL marriages should be worked on.

No.

And nor is it a failure to have conducted a 23 year relationship and to recognise its end when it’s for pretty understandable reasons run aground.

Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Witch. Poet. Slut. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.