There is some (farcical) conventional wisdom that somehow online relationships are not ‘real’.

Two words.

‘bull’ and ‘shit’.

I met my wife online in a CompuServe chatroom 22 years ago. We were both still very miserably married to others. We were 4000 miles apart. And we each had a child. It was five months before we laid eyes (and hands!) on one another. And we’re still going strong, despite my gender transition.

I started a gamer group 5 years ago with a stated aim being to get men talking to one another (this was before I came to terms with not being one of them lol). That group is still running. Its members are still like family to me. My best friend is amongst their number. And like you I’ve never met him, despite him living a modest 300 miles away.

Being trans I was rejected by my family yet immediately adopted by a vast panoply of people online, a great many of whom consider me the big sister (at 49 there are more people younger than me so ‘big’ sister is usually a safe bet).

None of the connections I’ve made strike me as superficial. I’ve had a huge number of RL relationships that were FAR more shallow. Same with dating. I defy anyone to seriously suggest to me that their drunken hookup in a deafening nightclub is more ‘real’ than the half a year I spent getting to know the woman I’m privileged to call my wife. And indeed whose wife I’m privileged to be.

It’s a very simple joke.

A real connection is real no matter how its established.

Good for you and Lachlan and thanks for sharing.

I love heart-warming stuff like this.

Much love, many hugs


Capricious by name, steadfast by nature. Trans femme dyke. Smutsmith. Provocateur. Poet. Idiot. Kicking names and taking ass.

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